Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

Toni Jordan

RRP: £7.99

2 February 2017

Published by Allen & Unwin

ISBN: 9781760293819

RRP: £4.99

23 December 2016

Published by Allen & Unwin

ISBN: 9781952534201

Henry has ended his marriage to Caroline and run off with his daughter’s teacher, Martha. Caroline, having shredded a wardrobe-full of Henry’s suits, has gone after them.

Craig and Leslie have dropped over from next door to catch up on the fallout from Henry and Caroline’s all-night row.

And Janice, Caroline’s sister, is staying for the weekend to look after the children because Janice is the sensible one.

Then Craig enters through the bedroom window expecting a tryst with Caroline and finds Janice instead, Leslie storms in full of threats, Henry, Caroline and Martha arrive back from the airport in separate taxis – and let’s not even get started on Brendan the pizza guy.

Janice can cope with all that. But when her ex-husband Alec knocks on the door things suddenly get complicated…


Laugh-out-loud funny, yet with real emotion at its core, this is a sexy-smart rom-com about love and marriage for fans of Graeme Simsion's The Rosie Project or David Nicholls' Us. I loved it.Hannah Richell, bestselling author of SECRETS OF THE TIDES
Australian Women's Weekly

Toni Jordan, an elegant and informed writer who might also have shone as a stand-up comedian, is just the writer to catch the merriment of farce as it flies and flick it back between the book covers.
Sydney Morning Herald

That Toni Jordan's new novel manages to be a full-length fiction that simultaneously operates as a hugely enjoyable farce and an emotionally rich domestic drama is a testament to her skills as a writer and the charm of her voice.
The Australian

Three couples go under the lens in this clever and moving comedy about love and marriage. A hilarious and romantic treat
Who Weekly

Jordan exploits her gift for dialogue to very funny effect... When Jordan is not being funny, her writing is crisp and clever... It's an unusual novel that is both ludicrous and bittersweet, but Our Tiny, Useless Hearts is exactly that.
Saturday Paper

A highly entertaining romp through the complexities of modern relationships... Our Tiny Useless Hearts is loads of fun and clever too... A relationship drama with a deftly light touch, and will appeal to fans of romance and screwball comedy.
Bookseller and Publisher

This is a funny, cleverly written story about the ups and downs of relationships and the fallout from indiscretion. The haphazard geometry of these suburban love triangles channels slapstick lunacy and farce so effectively, you can almost hear The Benny Hill Show theme playing in the background.
Qantas Magazine

Brimming with sarcastic humour.
Guardian on ADDITION

Really, really funny.Alexandra Heminsley
Radio 2 on ADDITION

An unusual and intriguing novel, written with a very light touch.
Daily Mail on ADDITION

Toni Jordan's debut is mature, witty and entertaining.
Irish Times on ADDITION